18 Times I Cried Watching The First Two Episodes Of Taylor Swift’s The End Of An Era

Yes, I know that Taylor Swift’s “Actually Romantic” from The Life of a Showgirl was a massive overreaction to Charli xcx’s “Sympathy is a Knife”; that the pop superstar is the ultimate capitalist; and that it’s very weird that she hasn’t spoken out against the Trump White House’s unauthorised use of her music (despite being a vocal Democrat)… but, what can I say? When I watched the first two episodes of Disney+’s The End of An Era – her new six-part docuseries which takes us behind the scenes on The Eras Tour, and will air two additional episodes each week until Boxing Day – my Swiftie brain took over, and I was a weeping puddle. Here are the 18 times I cried over the course of my hour-and-a-half-long binge.

1. When Taylor’s dancers started tearing up during the final huddle before the final show.
2. When Taylor tears up as she talks about picturing them when they’re older, telling people what this time of their life was like.
3. At the footage of fans crying when they secured Eras Tour tickets.
4. When Taylor breaks down while talking about the Vienna terror plot centred on that leg of the tour and the Southport stabbing attack at a Taylor Swift-themed dance class.
5. When she says she won’t cry when she meets the families of those little girls tonight. That she’ll be smiling. That when you go on stage, you lock off your emotions so that people don’t have to worry about you.
6. When, during rehearsals, Taylor says she wants to start the tour by singing, “It’s you and me, that’s my whole world.” Fans have spoken a lot about the importance of this moment in the show – her message to them – but it’s surreal to see it confirmed.
7. When Taylor comes out of the meeting with the Southport survivors and families, crying.
8. When she sits inside the cleaning cart in silence, heading to the show and trying to gather herself.
9. When she comes out onto the stage and sings like nothing happened, after all that.
10. At all the footage of fans dancing and hugging and crying at that first London show after Vienna.
11. When Tay finishes the show and before leaving the stadium asks, “Did anything bad happen that I don’t know about?”
12. When dancer and choreographer Amanda Balen talks about her experience on the show, and the joy of returning to the stage after injury and retirement from dancing.
13. When Taylor’s dancer, Kameron, talks about being body-shamed in the dance world when he was growing up.
14. When Kam reads out the message in the dancers’ bonus letters.
15. When Kam starts crying at his mum Kim’s joy at seeing him in the show.
16. When Kim screams at Kam’s solo moment during “We Are Never Getting Back Together”.
17. When Florence and the Machine rises to the stage and everyone starts screaming their heads off.
18. When “So Long London” just plays in the background. I am not well.